Venus of Willendorf (10,000 B.C.): What’s more offensive: a naked black woman, or a naked, obese paleolithic woman with droopy breasts? This one’ll never sneak by Lady Liberty.
Veronese’s “Feast in the House of Levi” (1573): Dwarfs and drunkards dining with Jesus? Didn’t pass muster with an earlier “decency commission,” either. When Veronese called it “The Last Supper,” the Inquisition inquired about a new name.
Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights (1515): More fit for the Spice Channel than a museum.
Lorenzetti’s Suckling Madonna (1330): Mary flashing a breast while nursing. Giuliani’s pornography zone laws don’t allow for this type of filth. Want to nurse your baby, lady? Even New York has public facilities for that.
Donatello’s David (1430): Homoeroticism. Hints of pedophilia. Not under our roof, son.
