MACKINNON: How did you feel when Veerappan and his armed bandits burst into your home? RAJ KUMAR: It was a surprise that he came and took me at gunpoint. But I went very casually. I wasn’t frightened. I never thought I was in danger. The bandits treated me with respect and assured me they wouldn’t harm me. Later, Veerappan always addressed me as periaware [great elder man].

What kind of conditions were you held in? We always slept outside on the ground–on just a plastic sheet. Whenever they found a flat piece of ground, they stopped [trekking]. They made tents of plastic sheeting and pitched camp in five minutes. If it rained they’d use a tarpaulin and dig a trench around to keep the water and insects away. It was quite dangerous because of the wild elephants and bears. We’d hear the tigers roaring in the forest and saw quite a few poisonous snakes. Food was always rice and dal, but I’m used to that because I grew up in a village. Occasionally we’d get venison curry. That was very tasty.

How did you pass your days? It was difficult with nothing to do. I used to stare at the skies and look at the trees, enjoying the environment. I got up at 4 a.m. each day, restless and unable to sleep longer. I did yoga for a couple of hours. That was the thing that kept my body and mind together. After breakfast of biscuits and milk, I’d read some religious books brought by the negotiators. They helped me relax. After lunch was the most difficult time. I tried a kind of meditation. Around 5 p.m. I’d go for a walk–not far, because the animals were too dangerous. Dinner was at 7 p.m. and the bandits were asleep by 8. I could never sleep until at least 11.

What was the hardest part of your captivity? The most difficult thing was my state of mind. There were days when I felt very low and depressed. I never worried about my death. What worried me most was my family: leaving them in limbo, not knowing what was going on. I tended to think about spiritual things. What have I done wrong? Why is this happening to me? What mistake have I made that I’m being punished like this? But in the end the experience has made me understand myself better.

How did Veerappan avoid detection? In three-and-a-half months we stayed in 60 places. In that time we walked between 300 and 400 kilometers. Each time we moved it was a 15- or 20-kilometer walk. They knew all the places because they’d been doing it for 20 years. Sometimes if they found good water we stayed 10 or 12 days. We kept moving for security reasons–in case someone tried to drop bombs. Veerappan insisted we wear rubber [flip-flops] so we didn’t leave footprints in the mud that could be followed.

Did you become friends with Veerappan? Naturally we talked because we were in the forest. After more than three months we had a good relationship, and we discussed many things. But Veerappan liked me because I’ve no interest in politics. We talked about my family and how I struggled to get where I am today. Veerappan talked of his wife and kids, but said he couldn’t visit them or he’d be captured. Veerappan asked about my films. He’d seen some of them but it was a long time ago. I asked why he didn’t surrender himself and become a good man. He said they’d kill him if he did. His life was in the jungle–with nature and the animals. In the evenings sometimes Veerappan used to sing devotional songs and dance, and invited me to join him. I didn’t sing with him–but I danced once or twice. There was nothing else to do.

Why were you freed? I think it was principally because the Supreme Court barred the release of the prisoners [51 associates whom Veerappan demanded be freed as ransom for Raj Kumar]. I knew I was going free two days before it happened. The bandits told me they were going to hand me over to Pazha Nedumaran, the Tamil activist negotiator. When I heard that, it was the first time since [the ordeal] started that I felt like eating. When we finally parted, Veerappan and the bandits had tears in their eyes. I told them that, God willing, I’d come and see them again. But they said I wasn’t to do it under any circumstances.